The week of February 8-15 was a struggle for a number of celebrities.

Michael Phelps earned the “Plaxico Burress Award” for common sense for being photographed inhaling marijuana smoke from a bong.

Chris Brown earned his “Ike Turner” badge for allegedly pimp-slapping and beating girlfriend, reggae/pop sensation, Rihanna.

Lindsay Lohan became a butt joke on Chelsea Lately for freaking out during a United Airlines flight. She was upset because gal-pal, Samantha Rossen went to first-class without her. But, Lohan’s bitching got her an upgrade.

For giving in, United Airlines earned a “The Chocolate Eclaire for a Spine” award.

Nadya Suleman became this week’s first-time, multiple award recipient.

She received a lifetime pass to be a guest on Jerry Springer. She gave birth to octuplets and decided to have a French-tip manicure to celebrate.

In addition, she became a favorite for “Pulling a Houdini” award. She convinced her beleaguered mom to be a permanent babysitter for her 14 kids, while she went out searching for “Mr. Right”.

She also emerged as leading vote-getter for the “Single White Female” plaque. Her alleged obsession with Angelina Jolie is borderline insane.

For celebrites and wanna-bees, Valentine’s Day wasn’t too kind. I left my Cupid uniform and quiver in the closet.